EXPERIENCE

By Esther Kung'u || You know the place you get to and life just downright hits you in the stomach and you can’t even breath, leave alone wake up. A small effort to rise up from your bent position and life, as strong as any boxer you know throws in another punch. Awww! The rest of the world sighs. For you, they look. They can’t help you up, they can only watch. Seems tough and unfair right? C’est la vie. In English, that’s life. I was in that position, that of the punching end, just some few days ago and as I pen this story down, it is not a fictional piece. I want you to understand that just because you are born again doesn’t mean that you are immune to tests, trials and temptations. Yes, you have the armor of God and a piece of it says in Ephesians 6:16 that “in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows (some say fiery darts) of the evil one.” Can you check at the love letter He wrote through prophet Isaiah 43:2 “ when you pass through the waters,I will be with you;And through the rivers,they will not overflow you.when you walk through the fire,you will not be scorched,Nor will the flame burn you.”

That means that the waters will come, the fire will be there and to wade or walk through is not an option,it is compulsory. The trials and every suffering associated with salvation will come. You will see arrogant and murdering Jezebels, seductive and lustful, Delilahs and Potiphar’s wives, Ahabs, Herods, stubborn Pharaohs, thick-headed and giant Goliaths. They will stand against you and will care less about your God. They will raise their noses high in pride and curse you to the face. They will come closer to you in deceit and if given a chance, they will murder you. Only if you give them a chance. This spirit of python, which constricts, presses and suffocates till death…till franklin jentezen says you can’t catch your breath.

I applied for job in a company that appeared so presentable. Their website was clean, their requirements were genuine, actually the requirements fitted my experience at that time and I thought, this is it. Notably, the company was dealing in real estate so this was my starting point and I thought it would come through for me. I took the whole evening studying about real estate, leasing, apartment rentals and soon enough I was preparing for Coast where my interview and prospective job location would be. I paid the bus fare, having prayed in advance for the journey so that our God would guide me in all I did and give me favor for the “job” ahead. In the reply message they sent to me concerning my interview process, I was to pay some doctor fee so that I would be screened during the interview, before I’m employed and integrated in the medical allowance of the company. I, in prayer and peace within my heart paid the amount and proceeded waiting for the D-Day to come. I hate interviews but on this one, I knew I was going to win. 

On 9th August, the day of travel, I went to my casual job, talked to the boss about my endeavors and he extended his blessing as I looked forward to the greener pastures (sounds insane right? I agree but there are good bosses in this painful world). When I finished preparing, my intuition could not rest. My mom called me up to tell me that she had tried to call the company office earlier but no one was responding. My contact down at the coast was locating the company and up to that moment, his Google scan was still working; meaning he hadn’t found it.  At 4 p.m., I had done all I was to do to get going when an idea cropped up in my mind. This real estate company had a neighbor company who, by sheer luck, posted their contacts online. I took the number and dialed. It went through almost in less than 30 seconds. A male voice came through with a thunderous, but stern, “hallo”. 

“Hallo. My name is Esther and I am calling to ask you whether there is a company by the name of Guiller Properties next to your office premises.” I said. I was impatient of the wait so staing my reason for the call urgently was necessary.

“No, no, no madam,” he said. I was shocked. “Many people call us asking about the same and I always tell them such a company is nonexistent.” I was shaking. I swallowed a huge gulp of air because my mouth had gone dry. I had been conned and cheated. My hopes, like the wall of Jericho, started crumbling one by one in a gathered momentum. I was weak and inattentive before hearing “...it would be best if you forgot about it because such a company is fraudulent.”

Thank you sir,” I croaked before I hung up. My tear ducts responded too quickly as I started asking why? How could this happen to a believer? Then the Scriptures within me, by the power of the Holy Ghost skipped from my heart to my mind, “All things worketh for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.” Then,” trust in the Lord with all your heart, mind and strength. Do not lean on your own understanding but in all ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths”. You might be thinking I just surrendered to the Holy Spirit’s will and just let go but can you believe even now, I am still fighting off the feeling against getting angry with the Lord. 

I will not lie to you, I feel like Paul in Asia. His suffering made him despair in life. I may not have the same test and trial you have but let’s agree everyone’s test or trial is different for a different reason. Yours, however minute it looks to the world, is a weight you have to carry. It lies on your shoulders and presses you hard on the floor. I will give praise not because I feel like or am in the mood to, I will praise God and honor Him at this hour. When I am feeling so horrible. When I can’t say a word, when I am in Gethsemane and the only petition I feel coming from within is just tears of blood and an overwhelming emotion of hopelessness. I will still praise Him who knows and works all things for the righteous. I will praise Him because I have hit rock bottom so that I may find the Rock at the bottom.